The Times That Haunt You
by R.NIKKI
Summary: Ellie is trying to forget her past but nobody else wants to. Will she be able to get throught the summer without everything as a reminder?
1. Insomnia

This takes place before Ellie's 11th grade year; Sean and Ellie are not together. There will be some interesting couples in this story. Please be patient with me this is my first story. This is somewhat written in diary form.  
  
Diary,  
You're the newest addition to my journal collection. So I figured I might as well fill you with a bunch of useless information. I look at my arms and for some reason the comments of people just float into my mind.  
"What were you thinking?"  
"Are you okay?" I wish people would just forget everything that happened last year. None of them know exactly what happened, in fact sometimes I don't know what happened. I was lost the cuts were the only things I had except for my so- called friends. If it weren't for that know it all Paige I might still have some freedom. But between my now sober mother and Ms. Sauve I am answering questions 24 hours a day. Well I guess Paige did kind of help me but if she tries and interfere one more time I'm going to kill her... I think. Well I'm gonna try and get some sleep. Wait I just looked at the clock, there's no point now it's 5:00, I didn't even notice. I guess since I'm up I might as well start getting ready. Ashley is picking me up we are going to go hang out at Craig's at about 8 or 9 I can't remember. A/N Craig is just friends with them. Well I got to go bye.  
Ellie  
  
LATER  
  
I'm just finishing my hair, when the doorbell rings it must be Ashley I fell asleep earlier so it took me longer than it should have. I hope my mom is awake so she get the door, it rings again I guess not. I run down the stairs to get the door and nearly fell on my face. Yep it's Ashley. I look around the house looks dead. I think Ash has noticed this to. I direct Ashley to go sit in my room; I'm going to figure out where my mom is. I look around for a little bit, my mom is nowhere in the house, so I write a note really quickly Mom, Went with Ashley to Craig's house be back this afternoon. I'll call if anything happens.  
Ellie I run back up to my room to finish my hair really quickly. I walk in to find Ash completely amazed. She darts her eyes at me. "What did I do this time" I yell trying to figure it out. "You went to the mall without me, I can tell you bought a new outfit." "Oh that no my mom picked it up while I was at The Dot trying to get a job, she says she's proud of me or something," I reply rolling my eyes. I look at Ash and she seems to be obsessed with this outfit. It's a black long- sleeve shirt with a slash down each sleeve and a simple pair of black cargo pants with zip-off legs. "Sorry I'm just trying to figure out why you are not wearing this," Ash says obviously wanting to see how it looks. "Because I thought it was kind of weird" but I go ahead and put it on. "You look great well we better go," I finally realize I never got to finish my hair but I walk out right behind Ash. 


	2. Akwardness

I forgot to add this on the first chapter but I don't own Degrassi but there may be a character that comes along I do own but I am not going to spoil the surprise Chapter 2 We finally arrive over at Craig's of course Ash had to take her time at one point she had me driving so she could do her makeup, sometimes I don't know how she got her license. I walk up to the door and knock and Ash looks at me as if I am an alien.  
"What now?"  
"Don't knock on the door we are going to sneak around into the garage," she says this as she begins to walk around to the side door of the garage. I follow not knowing what is going on we walk into the garage to find Craig asleep on the couch in his boxers with his guitar in his lap. I decide a rude awakening is in order so I slam the door, he wakes up and takes a second to realize where he is.  
"Hello ladies," he says in his usual flirty voice. We can't hold we both begin to laugh . Somehow I managed to get out "Cowboys huh?" Craig looks down and blushes but tries to keep cool "Yeah you like?" In turn I end up blushing. Everything begins to settle and he walks over to where he usually sleeps and pulls on a pair of pants. "Boy am I glad it was you guys and not Marco," He says this and looks at me "just kidding, you know Marco is one of my best friends." I look relieved. Craig explains to us that it had gotten really hot in his room so he decided to come down here and play and it was so hot he was just going to play in his boxers. Even if that is not the real story we don't want to know.  
Ash plopped down on the couch to the left of Craig while he wasn't even paying attention to Ash for some reason he was engulfed in Ellie, he motioned for her to sit on the other side of him, reluctantly she did. For some reason she had become really nervous around Craig lately and vice versa. Ash had not noticed if anyone asked her she would say that Craig was still hung up on her and she would never give him another chance, but it was kind of the exact opposite and everyone knew that but they let her think what she wanted to. Hours went by of them just talking and listening to music. Ash looked up at the clock just above the doorway. "Oh my gosh it's 1:30 p.m I have to get home, Toby is having J.T. over and I am supposed to take them to the movies so they can meet Kendra and Manny," with that name you could see Ash lip curl. Craig also flinched at the name. Ash gave me a hug and said she'd be back in an hour or two. I looked at Craig and he kind of stared at me for a minute. "So how has your summer been so far?" He asked trying to make conversation.  
"Pretty Good, Ash is kind of getting on my nerves though this whole big sis thing she has been pulling lately."  
"Ok I thought that was just my imagination, what is up with that," Craig said and then realized his mistake he gave me this look that kind of told me to ignore the previous question.  
We sit there for a few minutes and finally said "Ellie there is something I have to tell you" "What" "I really like you and I know I messed up with Ash but I hope you will give me a chance" I leaned in and hugged him, kissed him on the cheek and told him that I liked him a lot. All of the sudden we were just absorbed into conversation, we talked about everything. The main topic seemed to be me though and I hate that. Things started to get quiet and the phone rang. "I have to get that Joey and Angela are out on a weekend trip thing with Caitlin." "I know I used to work with Caitlin remember" Craig jumped up to get the phone. "Ellie it's for you it's your mom something is wrong" 


	3. Hatred

Thank you everybody for the great reviews I was so afraid that no one would like it. Thanks again Craig looked scared, I could see it in his eyes although he tried to hide it, 'How could the most perfect day be ruined by my lying, cheating...' just then I heard something I wish I hadn't "They just told me your dad is" I dropped the phone knowing what was going to be said and took off running out of Craig's house and towards my house. Craig looked at the phone not knowing what to say, he finally picked it up and explained to my so-called mother what had just happened.  
As I entered the place I used to know as my home, it seemed almost foreign. I think I am going insane. I walked in the house and there in our living room sits my "mom" and a man I have seen before but could not put a name to the face. They looked at me like I was a peace of art on display, I begin to cry. They approach me to calm me down as if I am not supposed to be crying.  
"It's okay hunny" I hear "Yes it's going to be okay," the man says. I can't take it; I stomp up the stairs to my room.  
  
Dear Diary,  
I was just told that my father was dead and I am supposed to be fine with it. My sanity is gone, I can't write right now, I can barely see.  
Ellie  
  
Somewhere through the night, I fell asleep because I just woke up and it's 3:00 in the morning. Great another four hours staring at the ceiling. Wait I have a better idea I got up and jumped in the shower really quickly and got ready, in my opinion I looked like a drowned rat but oh well. I go downstairs quietly hoping my mom is not awake. Even worse, I see vodka bottles littering the entire living room. I also hear my mother talking to someone and I hear a man's voice reply with the word sweetie added to the end. I start running. I don't know where I am going; at least I don't think I do. I'm going wherever my feet take me. I stop running, I think I have ran enough. 


	4. No Where To go

Chapter 4 Thank you everybody for the reviews they were sweet.  
  
The street seems so cold at 4:00 in the morning especially when you are upset as I am right now. I can't believe my mom has another man in our house. The house my father paid for. He saved up for 10 years to but that house for my me and my mom. God, that word slithers out of my mind like a disgusting snake. I remember I was 5 years old whenever we moved in there. My dad always wanted the best for me, up until last year, I was my dad's life, he would do anything to make sure I was happy. Last year, was when he left and when my mom put me in a public school, I was always used to private schools. Yeah, you can say it I was spoiled. My dad promised me he would be back soon and everything we would be perfect again. I guess not. God, I need to pay attention to where I am walking. I just nearly walked into a trash can. I bet the owner would have loved that. I look up just in time to notice the mailbox next to the trash can says 'Jeremiah'. The light in the garage is on so I walk up to the side door and knock enough so that the person inside the room will hear but no one else.  
Craig opens the door to find the only person he wanted to see right now.  
"Ellie," Craig screams as he wraps his arms around me.  
"Craig I am so sorry about earlier," I cried trying to stay on my feet but for some reason I was loosing all of my strength, I fell into his arms, why should I fight it.  
"It's ok you were scared," he said hoping his words would comfort me.  
"How do you know how I feel, you don't even know what happened," I screamed at him and also realizing for the first time that he has the most beautiful, dark, curly hair. I want nothing more than to just lie in his arms till everything is alright, yet I feel like I have to fight.  
"Your mother explained everything" I sit down in a daze he mentioned 'that woman'. Craig sees the look of total disgust on my face  
"What," Craig asks  
"Nothing...I...I'll tell you later, do you mind if I stay here a while."  
"Not it's fine do you want to lie down or watch tv or talk or..."  
"Is it okay if I lie down, I'm really tired," I interrupted him. Automatically Craig walked me over to the bed that we had moved down at the beginning of the summer. I thought back to that day. Ash, Craig, Jimmy, and I had all moved it along with a couch, a tv, and all of the rest of Craig's stuff. Joey had asked him if he wanted to move into the garage so he could have more privacy and also because Joey was planning on proposing to Caitlin ( everyone knows except Caitlin) and she is going to need am office. I came back to reality and see Craig looking at me. I lay down on the bed after kicking my shoes off, and I motion for Craig to come lay with me. At first he looks at me confused but he knew I needed somebody. We laid next to each other for a while. When I finally roll over to where I am facing him ' I swear you can see his soul through his eyes'. All of the sudden there are these things I am noticing about Craig that I had never even thought about before.  
"Craig do you remember what we were talking about today, did you mean what you said?"  
"Of course I did," he said as he kissed me on the forehead. I felt my body melt.  
"Will you be my girlfriend" he asked very shyly. Okay my body just melted again, I replied with a kiss.  
"I take that as a yes," he said blushing.  
"Then you would be correct," I said kissing him again with a huge smile across my face. He put his arm around my waist and we both fell asleep. 


	5. Sunshine

Chapter 5 Thanks once again for the reviews  
  
We woke up to find Ash standing at the door, obviously debating on whether to leave and pretend nothing happened or wake us up.  
"Am I interrupting something," she asked with her back towards us.  
"No," I replied and crawled over Craig to get out of the bed, "I just decided to stay the night here so I didn't have to deal with my mom and Ms. Sauve. I look over at Craig who is still trying to get his balance and he smiles shyly and somehow he understood that I didn't want Ash to know anything yet.  
"Ok Whatever," Ash said "I just came to apologize about not coming back yesterday, Paige isn't taking her and Spinner's break up very well," something caught her eye, "there's my cell phone I couldn't find it. Well I have got to go I promised to spend the day with Paige, well bye." Ash walked out the door after a few quick hugs.  
"Bye," Craig and I yelled after her but knew she didn't hear us. I glanced up at the clock it was 12:30.  
"So are you going to stay here tonight," Craig said obviously hoping I would.  
"Do you think it is okay with Joey."  
"Hold on and let me call," he picked up the phone and walked out of the room. A few minutes later and Craig comes back in the room. "Joey said you could stay as long as it was okay with your mom." Not a problem I thought, my mom will never even notice I am gone little lone care.  
"Okay we can go by my house later and pick up some of my stuff but right now I have to head over to The Dot to find out if I got the job." We walked out of the house even though it was summer it was still a little cold to Craig. "Do you want to go get your jacket first" "No I'm ok"  
Sometimes he can be so sweet (a/n the whole Ash, Manny, Craig thing never happened, Ash and Craig just broke up ok. We hurry off to The Dot. When we finally get there I walk straight back to the manager's office and begin to talk about the job, he finally informs me that they needed someone to fill the spot quickly and someone came in with job references so he gave the job to her.  
I walked out of his office to find Craig sitting at a table next to his friend, Emma, who doesn't really like me nobody really knows why. Last year I wouldn't have felt threatened but Emma had changed well let's just say Emma began to show her age and everyone at Degrassi seemed to notice, even those who didn't go to Degrassi like her new boyfriend, Dean. I walked up to Craig and asks if he was ready to go and just as Craig got up Dean walked through the door to right of us, sat down next to Emma and very playfully began to kiss her. "I think this is where we leave." I said pulling Craig towards the door.  
Just as we stepped outside we felt the rain that had just began to fall. "I guess we should go back to my house and wait for the rain to quit since it's a long walk to your house." "Okay sure!" I said very enthusiastically, I wasn't exactly in a hurry to go to my house anyway.  
By the time we got to Craig's house we were soaked. Once again I looked like a drowned rat. This look I was starting to get use to. Craig offered me some of his clothes so I wouldn't have to go out in clothes that felt like the color was bleeding out, oh god, there's that word. I haven't thought about cutting in forever what am I going to do. Just as I thought about it I realized Craig was looking at the scars on my arms.  
"Ellie, what happened," Craig said giving me the look I was completely sick of, you know oh you poor dear, you're so screwed up.  
"Don't look at me like that, I'm gonna go get some stuff from my house it would be better if you stayed here. I will be back in about an hour bye," I said running out the door. 


End file.
